It was after a…rather long time… only I realised that I am lost with hope and everything else which I couldn’t imagine. What hit me? I guess I will never know..but this time I am ready to take the challenge and bring everything back to where it once was. I believe that with enough will power, I can overcome any type of challenges which might appear in the journey of my life. I just hope that there will not be too much for me to handle..actually I do not know what I am exactly typing..i guess im just writing down random things which comes to my mind right now. Haha..i am right now in AK81,an AirAsia plane, flying from China to Kuala Lumpur. It was somehow a painful departure..not physically but very much emotionally. Because…I had to yet again say goodbye to my most beloved mum. It leaves me wondering…when will be the time for me to stop all this departures and stay with my parents on a more permanently basis.
The night before I departure, I decided to make myself drunk. Not because the red wine I drank as too powerful, because I wanted to give myself the chance to release myself from the pain which I am about to face the next day. Well, I guess during that time I was really able to take away the pain… but when the effect of the wine has run out, I was brutually pulled back into reality…something I would rather choose to run away at that moment. I wonder if you understand this feeling… I am writing this on the plane right now.
There is no real point in writing this…just to kill the time I have…it’s a three hour long journey….listening to my favourite music, thinking of those happy things which happened in the past 30 over days. Now I will need to sober up and get back to the life I was belonging to. This is life isn’t it? Filled with departures, reunions, and more departures…it makes me wonder again…when will there be an end. Is it death? Will death be our ultimate union? When we are either escorted to heaven or banished to hell. I guess, that will be the day we will all be together, forever.
I really have no idea what im typing right now…my fingers are just flying around the keyboard. Trying their best to express the complicated feelings I have right now. Well…after all, no words can express my feelings right now.
So let’s just call it a day! And await my arrival in KL. Till then, let this feeling sink as deep as it could into me. Till then, I will sober up and find the meaning of my life.
Adios, for now.
